blasts from the past... and other random thoughts.

he's not worth writing about... he truly isnt, but here i sit.  writing about him and his return to a realm i had hoped he had disappeared from.  yep, the elusive cheesegritty is back.  oh for the love of jehova, why?  last night while on fetlife i was checking my feed and realized a mutual friend had "welcomed him back" and friended him on this pervy book of face type site.  i had mixed feelings when i saw this, curious at first, angry second and still wondering what the hell happened so many months ago.  


for those that are familiar with my former "relationship" (and i use that term loosely) with this man, you will understand (or maybe you wont) my fascination with him and his life.  he was one of my first close friends on fetlife, one of the first people i've actually met and "played" with, and one of the first guys since my ex husband that i had felt a connection to.  while our relationship was short lived, tumultuous, and drama filled, i'll say it, he broke my heart.  i cared about him, i trusted him, and he ruined a piece of me for this world.  he caused me not to trust again... not for a while at least.  my relationship with him made me question myself, my worth and whether this "life" was really for me.  how can you let someone into your life, trust them and have them destroy your heart?  i guess no different from the vanilla lifestyle choices that we make every day.  


so now he's back, and what i choose to do with this is my decision.  and my decision is this.  i will not let anything he contributes to this site to infect me.  not one little bit.  i will stay away, i will not look at his profile, i will not perv his pictures, and i will try my hardest to keep away from any relationships that he develops.  (i.e., i will try to stay away from anyone with mutual connections.)  i will move forward and away from him as i have for the last 4 months or so.   i will let him stay "gone" as he has been, i will continue to grow in life, love and in experience... and i'll be much better for it with him gone.  cheesegritty, i said goodbye to you, and that goodbye was as good as forever.  


Enigma.