the feeling of being a part of your child's field day is one of those feelings which bring absolute exhaustion and complete joy all at once. on a chilly, overcast, and occasionally rainy thursday thats where i found myself. i arrived at the school, a bit nervous, worried that the boys step mom would be there. she always is there for everything my kids (and her own) do. being that the boys go to school in their town, she knows everyone and spends quite a bit of time there. so i get out of the car, smooth down my shorts, my tee shirt and make sure i look presentable enough to pull off the "mom" look. i sign in and receive my work station for the morning, the "sponge toss." i look at the map in a confusing fashion trying to find where my station is and where i need to set things up. i finally maneuver through the school and exit the building with all the other moms and dads who are working this event. i smile politely as they talk amongst themselves, having been members of the PTA, or seeing each other at events, they all seem to know each other well. i continue to remind myself that i am here for my kids, that im here to have fun and i need not worry about who i do and don't know. so i trample through the ankle high grass and i find my location.
field day promptly begins at 9:15am and i am ready for my first group of children to arrive. my station was with the 1st graders.... and i can say while rewarding, it was a long 3 hours. the kids laughed, played and we made our own rules for the game. in all they had a great time, got pretty wet in the process and smiled a lot. what brought me the most joy was the look on my youngest son Shaun's face when he saw me working at field day. his eyes, blue as ever beamed at me as he played with his friends and exhausted himself in a very fun yet busy morning.
after field day activities were over and the kids broke for lunch, i found that the PTA had set up pretzels, soda and water for the volunteers to enjoy and i helped myself. i then found my way to my oldest son's classroom to visit since i had not seen him all day. he was eating lunch with friends and i was able to snap a few really nice pictures of him with his friends. we talked for a little while and i meandered back to my youngest's classroom where we changed into swimsuits, had a picnic lunch outside and then they played on the waterslide.
my time there was over and i made my way back to my car. alone, without my kids and with the knowledge that i was going home myself, going back to an empty home. one where the laughter has temporarily left, and as i approached the stairs to head upstairs to shower and change, i see that looming sign that they are gone... their bedroom doors are closed. while this is a common thing, (we close the doors to keep the dogs out and keep the vents closed to save on air conditioning costs) i fall into a heap on the stairs and cry until there are no more tears left to cry. my boys, myself and everyone close to us are victims of divorce, of shared custody, and of this sad existence we call life. a life where laughs are abundant about 14 days of every 28 and the rest... well, we just go on.
my time there was over and i made my way back to my car. alone, without my kids and with the knowledge that i was going home myself, going back to an empty home. one where the laughter has temporarily left, and as i approached the stairs to head upstairs to shower and change, i see that looming sign that they are gone... their bedroom doors are closed. while this is a common thing, (we close the doors to keep the dogs out and keep the vents closed to save on air conditioning costs) i fall into a heap on the stairs and cry until there are no more tears left to cry. my boys, myself and everyone close to us are victims of divorce, of shared custody, and of this sad existence we call life. a life where laughs are abundant about 14 days of every 28 and the rest... well, we just go on.
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